Respect is earned, not given. Regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation or ethnicity, anyone can earn respect by conducting themselves with integrity. Gaining the respect of others will not happen overnight, but by demonstrating confidence, leadership, dependability and kindness, you will be able to earn it over time. Along with those traits, you must be willing to respect other people and, perhaps most importantly, you must also respect yourself if you want to receive respect in return.
Method One of Three:
Being a Leader
Excel at communication. Speak warmly and engage those whom you are speaking to. Be able to speak comfortably about a wide range of topics. Avoid vulgar and poor language, as well as using words like “um” or “like” to punctuate your sentences.
Communication isn’t just talking – it’s about listening, as well. Incessant talking isn’t the mark of a respected person. Try to truly listen to others.
Take a moment to think before you speak.
Keep your emotions in check. Remain calm in tense situations and speak in a calm, relaxed voice. Strive to act, rather than react emotionally. Diffuse bad situations whenever possible, and take a moment to think before instantly reacting to a negative provocation.
Well-respected people know how to keep their cool under tense conditions.
During arguments, hold your temper to prevent escalations, and if someone raises their voice at you, respond calmly.[1]
Control your body language. [2] Stand up straight, look people directly in the eye, and speak in a steady, composed voice when in conversation. These things exude confidence, which people very much respect.
Conversely, slouching, mumbling and being afraid of eye contact communicates to others that you aren’t confident in yourself. Self-confidence is respected.
Solve problems. When faced with a problem, do not react emotionally or with visible frustration. Instead, focus on addressing the problem and looking for ways to solve it. Try not to complain or get angry, since neither of those things are going to help the situation.
When others see you calmly find a solution to a problem rather than react angrily or emotionally, they will respect your composure and appreciate your readiness to remedy the situation.
Take pride in your appearance. Always practice good hygiene and make sure your clothes are neat and clean. Take the time to be well-groomed. Keep your nails trimmed, shower daily and always brush and floss your teeth.
Being poorly groomed usually sends a negative message to others about your self-worth.
If you don’t respect yourself and your appearance, it will be very difficult to gain the respect of others.
Method Two of Three:
Standing Up For Yourself
Say “no” more often. [3] People often believe that taking on more projects and responsibilities will make others respect them, but that’s not the case. You can’t agree to every opportunity or request presented to you. Saying no shows others that you value your own time and care more about delivering quality results over quantity.
The delivery of the message is just as important as the message itself. Be polite, frank, and decline with a smile. It’s not personal, you just don’t have the time to take on anything extra right now.
Don’t feel guilty about saying no when you have to. Feel good about standing up for yourself.[4]
Have an opinion. [5] . Whether it’s an idea, a thought, or a protest, avoid remaining passive if you have something to say. Don’t be afraid of voicing your opinions and bringing ideas to the table, even if it makes you a little nervous. People appreciate when someone has the guts to say what they think.
If you aren’t used to speaking up, try practicing what you want to say beforehand.
Voicing your opinions doesn’t mean verbally passing judgement on everything going on around you. Voice your opinions when they matter.
Stop being too nice. [6] You can be kind to others without constantly having to do things for them. No one respects a pushover. You can’t please everyone, nor should you try, and allowing yourself to be taken advantage of because you’re nice shows others that you don’t respect yourself.
Being too nice can also have the undesired effect of people thinking you are fake and disingenuous.
Quit apologizing. The only time you need to apologize is when you’ve done something wrong. Unfortunately, many people get in the habit of saying “sorry” almost automatically, without even thinking about it.
Reserve your apologies for situations that actually call for them.
Stop taking the blame for every little thing that goes wrong around you.
Say something when you’re being mistreated. If you are being taken advantage of or mistreated, you don’t have to resign yourself to enduring it silently. Stand up for yourself. Standing up for yourself doesn’t mean lashing out in response – that will only make things worse. Instead, be tactful and polite when you do it.
Standing up for yourself can be scary, but that’s precisely why other people will respect you for doing it.
When you speak up, make sure you literally speak up – do not mumble, trip over your words, or look down at your feet in embarrassment. You have every right to stand up for yourself.
Method Three of Three:
Respecting Others
Keep your word. When you commit to something and then don’t follow through, people see you as unreliable. Keep your promises to others and get out of the habit of making promises that you can’t keep. Proving your dependability will garner respect from others. Be the person who can be counted on.
Be on time. [7] When you are late, whether that is to an appointment, a meeting, a deadline or responding to an email, you lose the respect of others because they feel that you don’t value their time. Strive to always be punctual.
When you show your peers that you respect their time by being prompt, they will respond by respecting your time and you.
Avoid gossiping. [8] Frequently engaging in gossip, especially negative gossip that puts other people down, will do nothing good for you. In fact, it usually results in people thinking less of you and gossiping about you when you aren’t in the room.
You don’t have to like everyone, but you should always be respectful toward them.[9]
Know the difference between socializing and gossiping, and never participate in the latter.
Make an effort to avoid drama with your peers.
Stand up for someone else. Just as you should always stand up for yourself, you should also try to do the same when you see someone else being mistreated, especially if they are unable to do it for themselves. There is a time and place for this, and sometimes butting in would be inappropriate, but if it’s something that you can do, do it. Respecting someone else enough to take up for them will earn you their respect in return.
Pay attention to your surroundings and take opportunities to show empathy toward others when at all possible.
When you are able to demonstrate that you are willing to offer help when it is needed, you’re demonstrating that you care about others, which never fails to gain respect.
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Reader Success Stories
“This article described the characteristics of many people that I respect. I have been saying yes too much and being too nice. My biggest problem is controlling my emotions. If I can master these concepts, life will be more meaningful and pleasant for others, as well as myself. “…”
BP
Brenda Perkins
Aug 10, 2016
“This article helped me! Women will ask my husband to do things for them while I am also there with him; no regard to how I feel about it; sometimes they will ask him when they think I am not around. I think this is so rude and disrespectful to me. “…”
ED
Ena Da Silva
Aug 20, 2016
“I lost respect for myself, for others and from others. This article has shown me simply and clearly how I can, over time, regain that self-respect and respect for others as well as from others. Thank you.”…”
AT
Atharva Thakur
Jul 20, 2016
“Respecting yourself is the best way to gain respect from others. Everyone needs to learn to respect themselves and stop letting others take advantage of them.”…”
CK
Chester Klaptocz
Sep 14, 2016
“It is fascinating article. Please post more of them.”
“I like all your articles. Very helpful. Thank you!”
DG
Dhiren Ganjwala
Jul 30, 2016
“Very practical information. Easy to apply.”
AK
Ashish Kumar
“I will try to make my self improve.”
“Very interesting stories.”
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