Ox on the charge © Gallo Images
Tue, 02 May 2017 | 15:42
SuperWrap 10, 2017
“Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round”. Fat bottomed boys, I’ll add to Queen, do the exact same thing to the rucking world.
We’ve had our suspicions about this since the heydays of Frans “Domkrag” Erasmus and had it confirmed as fact one glorious morning in 2003 when Richard Bands landed the sweetest ever hand-off on Carlos Spencer on his way to scoring a try from almost halfway against the All Blacks in Dunedin.
It would have been a remarkable effort if done by a wing, but the 120kg tighthead prop had even the biased locals on their feet applauding.
“When the 120kg tighthead trundled at impressive speed on a 47m run to the left-hand corner in the 14th minute, he revived memories of the sensational try by All Blacks flanker Ian Kirkpatrick against the Lions in Christchurch in 1971.
“Bands ran on to a flat pass from Joost van der Westhuizen and beat the lunge of Kees Meeuws, whose seven tries in 29 Tests makes him the most successful test-try scoring prop, although none of those compares to Bands’ stunner in his seventh test.
“Bands, who had shimmied past referee Peter Marshall, fended off a weak tackle from the chasing Carlos Spencer who grasped at Bands’ shoulders, and beat the cover of Aaron Mauger,” whooped The New Zealand Herald at the time.
“I haven’t seen a better try from a prop in years, or any time,” added the self-same Kirkpatrick.
After this last round of Super Rugby action that statement is maybe not a solid as it once used to be. You see, the big boys were out in full force once again on the weekend.
For a while there we thought it would be just another weekend as Retshegofaditswe Nché, after a wonderful break, had a perfectly legitimate offload ruled as a forward pass by yet another over-zealous TMO. It was going to be another round of heart-ache for our big-boned brothers we thought.
But Nché (the greatest Ox since the original Os) would have none of it. In the 53rd minute of the same match he decided enough is enough. He grabbed a ball in midfield and, as good as any centre you can care to name, chose a line through a whole host of defenders and accelerated through the helpless grasps of puny backline paws to score a 25m five-pointer under the uprights.
The try scored a solid eight on a scale from zero to Bands.
Next up we had the Kings’ burly Martin Bezuidenhout who went over the chalk in his side’s unexpectedly massive win over the Rebels. His effort was only from about two metres out, but you have to keep in mind that he ran in support of a massive break by the speedy Makazole Mapimpi and got to the point of action well before any of his trailing skinny teammates.
And then came the biggie. But first an old joke.
Lion walks through the jungle asking every animal he comes across “Who is king of the jungle?”. He gets the answer he wants until he comes across Elephant. Elephant grabs him with his trunk, swings him through the air a couple of times before slamming him on the ground. Lion eventually gets up from the big cloud of dust and says: “Don’t you become bedonnerd with me if you don’t know the answer!”
It was again in the 53rd minute, but this time in Buenos Aires, that the weekend’s most flabulous moment came. Hippo got the ball about 40 metres out and after a couple of nifty steps flung out a perfect pass to Elephant who slammed down the ball for what turned out to be a match-winning try.
On a scale of zero to Thomas du Toit, Bands’ 2003 effort came in at a commendable seven.
Coenie Oosthuizen (Hippo in the story above) was moved to tighthead because he offered so much more than is normal for someone in that position in general play. Du Toit (Elephant) had the same thing happen to him not too long ago.
Elsewhere Trevor Nyakane (26 carries and 10 defenders beaten so far this season, on top of how many turnovers won) also had to make the move. Even Carisbrook’s hero Richard Bands started senior rugby at hooker.
It is high time we start to see some results for all those very difficult positional switches upfront we’ve had forced on us in this country. It’s time someone put back the ‘prop’ in ‘proper rugby’.
Fat boys. They sit at the back of the bus and drink all the beer. They eat all the pies, but then gosh, they score the most memorable tries.
Here’s to you, big guy! Every one of you.
Bok Barometer for week 10:
15. Masixole Banda (Kings), 1.4 Sergeal Petersen (Cheetahs), 13. Lionel Mapoe (Lions), 12. Jeremy Ward (Sharks), 11. Makazole Mapimpi (Kings), 10. Lionel Cronje (Kings), 9. Louis Schreuder (Kings), 8. Anidisa Ntsila (Kings), 7. Oupa Mohoje (Cheetahs), 6. Philip van der Walt (Sharks), 5. Ruan Botha (Sharks), 4. Ettienne Oosthuizen (Sharks), 3. Ruan Dreyer (Lions), 2. Malcolm Marx (Lions), 1. Thomas du Toit (Sharks).
Best tries:
Best of social media:
#SSRugby I fully understand why this boy is crying. Nobody wants a Stormers rugby jersey! pic.twitter.com/vdcL3RIVx7— JG (Johan) van Zyl ? (@JGvanZyl_ZA) May 1, 2017
Weren’t they confirmed champions three weeks ago?
——-
Well well well…this is awkward SANZAR… #KINvREB#SSRugby— Ethienne Reynecke (@ettasreynecke) April 29, 2017
Awkward indeed. But that has never stopped them.
——-
This Australasian SuperRugby log gets funnier by the week. (Via @SuperSportTV) pic.twitter.com/7WATJSwzVR— Ben Karpinski (@followthebounce) April 30, 2017
Spot on, Ben. The same Aussies that wanted South Africa kicked out of Super Rugby just this year. Now we know why.
——-
Computer says no. https://t.co/WOM2LqyMdb— Arno (@watsenaam) April 30, 2017
Computer was very close to right. “Mitigating circimstancess… including playing for the All Blacks”
Lion Dancing
It wasn’t quite Dancing with the Stars, but it was good to see that Emirates Lions coach Johan Ackermann can still move his feet a bit.
Courtesy of Elton Jantjies, the Lions coach showed he wasn’t all lead-footed off the field and can cut a rug if he needs to…
Putting the Pimp into Mapimpi…
Speaking of dancing, Kings flyer Makazole Mapimpi is a man on everyone’s lips at the moment, and has a pretty unique celebration.
He even had the Aussies and Fox Sport’s Sean Maloney noticing, including a killer handshake.
White-faced-ley
One of the best reactions of the week came from Lions captain Warren Whiteley when he spoke about how excited the players were to get to Australia as many of them had not toured there.
Whiteley said the team were looking forward to exploring Perth, Sydney and Canberra on their trip to Oz, with the normal rugby touristy things being done like hanging around in coffee shops.
When it was pointed out that members of the SuperWrap desk had been in Canberra for a week and considered it “a city that makes Bloemfontein seem like Las Vegas”, Whiteley’s face dropped.
“Don’t tell the other guys that,” he laughed.
We hope they find the Australian capital a tad more exciting than we did.
daybreakonline.news.blog 